Category Archives: Relationships

Stop being a tool and the world will be your oyster

I really like her, but she can’t “handle” me right now.  What do I do? [3576C]

OK, I’m guessing that since you put “handle” in quotation marks, she probably used that word specifically.  In that case, I think she’s intimating that you’re a tool.

What should you do?  As difficult as it might be, if you discontinue your toolishness, the world will be your oyster 😉

I'm in love with an RA

I’m in love with an RA.  What do I do? [3583B]

[written in answer space:  ew.]

You’re in love with the ancient Egyptian sun god? Hey, that’s terrific! I say go for it: life is short, unless you’re Ra, then it’s eternal. Of course, I don’t need to remind you of complications that could arise from a love affair with such a deity. His falcon’s beak might make kissing problematic and potentially painful; since he shares many of his symbols with other solar deities, you could be pulled into complicated litigation surrounding ownership rights; and he’s often unpredictable and secretive. But on the upswing, he might let you drive his tricked out solar boat and wear some of his supercool headgear.

Impressing an English major

What should I read to impress an English major (male)? [3572B]

Good gracious!  Why would you want to do that?  Because if you impress him, you might marry him after graduation.  He’d hang around the fringes of academia until he became a librarian, inevitably committing the two of you to a life of penury.  But if you really can’t help yourself, being seen in the von der Heyden Pavilion with an open copy Finnegans Wake should do the trick. Believe me, he won’t understand it anymore than you do.