Lobby Book

When will the bleeding stop?

When will the bleeding stop?  It’s been 20 minutes. [3578C]

[written in answer space:  Depends on the debit. You have circa 5 liters.  By the time all of it has gone on the ground, you should be done.  However, loss of consciousness may occur before, so please make sure that a friend times the whole process and engraves the result on your tombstone.  That would greatly help the AP next time.]

It’s taken me so long to answer you and I haven’t had to step over any bodies entering or exiting the building, so I guess it all worked out. In the future, though, you might want to call 911.

Lobby Book, Quotations

How much wood indeed?!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck (if a woodchuck could chuck wood)? [3572A]

[written in answer space: as much wood as a woodchuck could (if a woodchuck could chuck wood).

Absolutely none. An average maul weighs eight pounds. Even with a woodchuck’s seasonal weight fluctuation, do you think an animal that weighs maybe ten pounds itself (and that’s at its chubby autumn weight) without opposable thumbs (for goodness sakes!) could hoist an eight pound maul over its head and bring it down with enough force to split a log? That’s just silly!

Entertainment, Life\'s mysteries, Quotations

What kind of person are you?

At the end of an old Woody Allen movie, the narrator (Woody himself) says “there’s two kinds of people; the horrible and the miserable. You’re lucky if you’re miserable”. Do you agree, and which are you?

I don’t believe there are only two kinds of people: the horrible and the miserable.  And while I generally think Woody Allen is funny, his weltanschaunng – or at least the one that emanates from his movies – is too pessimistic for me to consider for longer than the length of one of his films.

And, anyway, I know someone who’s both horrible and miserable!

Duke

Does anybody remember the BOG?

Hi Answer Person!

I recently bought Dukeopoly (monopoly but with familiar Duke sites as the places on the game board). While most of the places I recognize (Duke Chapel, Cameron Indoor, the Gardens)- one I have never even heard of- I think it might be an old reference. Could you please tell me what “The Bog” is? Thank you for your help!

Too Young and Clueless

The BOG probably refers to Bunch of Guys, an independent living group that was disbanded by the Judiciary Committee in 1992 for alcohol violations. The BOG resided, at least at the end of its lifespan, in Building HH, Few Quad.  While latterday BOG members might be infamous, a little bird told me of at least one earlier member who’s a highly respected member of the Duke community today (I must admit, though, that after learning he lived in the BOG I haven’t been able to look at him without imagining him with a 40 in his hand and a lampshade cocked rakishly on his head).

So, young?  Perhaps.  But not clueless.

Duke Libraries, Lobby Book

A little bit of housekeeping

Why is it that both East and West housekeepers never seem to work, but always seem to get away with it?  Then complain about how much work they have? [3571C]

[written in answer space:  One word, bucko–unionization.  Call in the Pinkertons, I dare say!]

If you have specific criticisms or compliments regarding housekeeping, in Perkins/Bostock you should contact Keith Wooten, Housekeeping Supervisor, directly at keith.wooten@duke.edu or 684.5921.

Duke Libraries, Lobby Book

Still passionate about library access!

Dear AP,

I previously wrote a question asking why we students don’t have after-hours card access to this door (the door by this book).  Although I haven’t seen a response yet, I just tried my card, and it works now!  If this improvement was your doing in response to that question, then thank you! [3572C]

My pleasure (I believe you’re referring to “Passionate about library access!“).

Culture, Language, Lobby Book

What are these kids listening to today?!

What are you going to do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk? [3574A]

[written in answer space:  ima get get get get get you drunk]

Thanks for your assistance, Scribbler.  But don’t forget work; She’s gonna make make make you work.  OK, I was going to launch into a vituperation on the sad state of musical lyrics today, when these lyrics from Led Zeppelin’s The Lemon Song popped into my head:

Squeeze me, babe, ’till the juice runs down my leg
The way you squeeze my lemon
I’m gonna fall right outta bed

Followed by the incredibly enlightened chorus:

Yeah
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Juice, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby
Hey, babe, babe, babe, babe, oh, no

Well, you get the picture.

Food, Lobby Book

Simply red

Do different color M&M’s taste differently?  Why do people love red M&M’s if it isn’t their favorite color? [3581C]

The flavor – if there is any (see my earlier post: Soooooo delectable!) – is from the chocolate.  If people love red M&Ms, it’s because the color projects strength and passion.  Red is said to raise metabolic rates, which is why stop signs and lights are red.

Food, Lobby Book

Taste the rainbow

How many skittles are there in a bag?  Is is always the same amount?  What is the most preferred flavor? [3581B]

That’s impossible to answer, since Skittles come in a variety of bag sizes. I’m not sure what the most preferred flavor is, but my preference is for Orange Skittles Vodka.