I read somewhere that sex is the highest experience a person can have. Then I read something from someone else saying that music is. If my sex life is unfixably horrible, but I like music, can I ever be happy? I have wasted my time at college and will never have a long-term partner or a serious job, but I would like not to have to self-terminate.

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Trust me, you are far too young to have wasted much of anything. Answer Person, when in college, never imagined that my life would be as it is now, that I would go on to do great things (my boss tells me that this service is a great thing!). Know that we continue to grow in so many ways, as we gain new knowledge, experience new things, meet new people and accomplish feats we never imagined possible. For now, if music rings your chimes, enjoy. The rest will happen with time–and isn’t that a wonderful thing to have in one’s future!

What is the difference between further and farther. Is farther even a word? Can my friend throw the ball farther than me, or further than me?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Depends on how fur you want Answer Person to takes this. Well, beyond that snide jab at southern culture, demonstrating a variance that doesn’t work, there really isn’t much difference. They are both words, coming from different Middle English roots, each with different German ancestries, long used interchangeably as adverbs and adjectives. The “American Heritage® Book of English Usage” concurs with this, though it goes on to point out “A relatively recent rule, however, states that farther should be reserved for physical distance and further for nonphysical, metaphorical advancement.” [http://www.bartleby.com/64/C003/0121.html] So, unless you and your friend are throwing a virtual ball, “farther” is the way to go. Need I take this any further?

In the last five years, how many times has a college basketball team scored 90 points (or more) in regulation and lost without overtime?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: You know, Answer Person has a real job, a real life, and isn’t about to get into a answering an endless series of sports stats trivia questions. Really! Now, if you want to know how many games Duke men and women have had this year where they scored 90 or more points, without overtimes, and lost the games, well, Answer Person will bend the rule(?) to allow for the Duke Fan Loyalty Exception. For now.

The answer:

The men, not once in the past five years; the last time was a 94-92 loss to Maryland March 1, 1995.

The women, not once in the past five years, ten years, fifteen years . . . never!

What is mucus (sp?) and why does your body produce it?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Actually, and curiously, your spelling is correct. MUCUS is produced by MUCOUS cells, found in the MUCOUS membranes. According to the MEDICAL DICTIONARY ONLINE, “It contains mucin, white blood cells, water, inorganic salts, and exfoliated cells.” (http://www.online-medical-dictionary.org/omd.asp?q=Mucus)

Why? Two reasons. First, as a protective lining for the digestive tract and nasal passages. Second, so that spitters can maintain their disgusting habit even when they are out of chewing tobacco.

How are stock prices determined? Is it based on what percentages of a company are for sale or what prices people are willing to pay? It seems to me that different people would be willing to pay different prices for a chunk of a company. Is there some kind of independent commission?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Stocks are shares in the value of a company; in theory that means that you take the value of the company and divide by the number of shares and you get the value per share. This concept works best with the IPO, or initial public offering, where the value has to be approved by the particular stock exchange. (All new stock issues have to be registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.) After that, a lot of things determine the value, i.e., what the buyer is willing to pay: company value, performance, dividend payments, perceptions of future growth and structure of the company, perceptions of the companies business sector, perceptions of overall market performance, perceptions of overall performance of the U.S. economy, perceptions of the stars, perceptions of the tea leaves at the bottom of your cup, etc.

For a nice economist’s overview see Jeremy Siegel’s “Stock Prices,” from the CONCISE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ECONOMICS (http://www.econlib.org/library/Enc/StockPrices.html).

What should I do for my special lady for Valentine’s Day? Any gift ideas?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Flowers. Chocolates. Back massage. Foot massage. Lingerie. Music CD. Tickets to the Duke Women’s Basketball game at UNC (6 PM at the Dean Dome). A Book. Perfume. Satin/silk sheets. Dinner at a great restaurant. Take her to or rent a movie (chick flick!). Jewelry. Have a star named after her. Write a poem. Create a work of art. Cook a fantastic dinner.

Tell her how special she is. Repeatedly. In different ways.

I have just received a trampoline as a hand-me-down gift. I am delighted about the gift, but don’t know how to get it from my friend’s house to mine? It is big, I think too big for a pickup truck. Any suggestions?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Is it a round trampoline? If so, rolling is an option. How far do you have to move it?
Also, think of this in terms of initial acquisition. How did it get to your friend’s house? If it wasn’t a big truck (rental is also an option, as is getting in touch with a local sporting goods company that sells them), it probably came unassembled.
So, taking apart the problem, Answer Person suggests you take apart the trampoline. Could be a difficult, frustrating process, but you can take those feelings out on the finished product.

How do airlines price tickets? My question comes from the following example. A round trip ticket on American Airlines’ direct flight from RDU to London Gatwick is more expensive than a round trip ticket on American Airlines from RDU to Rome that goes through London Gatwick. This includes EXACTLY the same airplanes from RDU to London. How is it possible that the flight to Rome, which includes two additional flights, is less expensive?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Answer Person went to the American Airlines website and tested your theory–actually was able to “schedule” flights (wishing AP could really take them) one-way and roundtrip, RDU to Gatwick and RDU to Rome via Gatwick. In both cases the shorter flights were cheaper, not more expensive, so you might want to try again, or try another way of booking.

As to your bigger question, how airlines price their tickets, well that has long been a mystery to many. The typical story is that if you take any group of people sitting together on the same flights, going from and to the same places, chances are they all paid different prices for their seats. American didn’t make it any easier in this test case, because you have to go through several stages to get comparative pricing on different scheduling options. Even worse, although there were flights that went to Italy via Gatwick, using American operated by British Airways for the second leg, there WEREN’T ANY going through Gatwick on the return to the Tarheel State!

As if Homeland Security hadn’t made air travel difficult enough! AP has got a headache, and is just going to lie down and watch the Travel Channel.

There currently is a popular rap song with the lyric “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” What is a milkshake? What does it mean in this context?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Milkshake (for the hungry masses): A delightful (i.e., prohibited by many diets) beverage typically blending (literally) milk and ice cream.

In the rap song context: While the obvious allusions are to the northern and southern hemispheres of T&A, according Kelis, in an AP interview published in various sources last December and January, “A milkshake is the thing that makes women special. It’s what gives us our confidence and what makes us exciting.” Now you know(!?!).

Why is chardonnay the most popular (most widely available) varietel of white wine? Is it the ease of growing the chardonnay grape? Is there actually significantly more demand for chardonnay than other white wines?

ANSWER PERSON RESPONDS: Wine drinkers often have no idea of the best wines, and have a very difficult time telling them apart. They are, however, very concerned about image. Chardonnay has the virtue of being a very classy sounding name, while being exceptionally easy for the French-language-challenged to pronounce. Ultimately, who cares? They will be happy–especially by the time they get to the bottom of the carafe. (BTW, chardonnay is also easy to produce, in different climates, comes in a variety of styles, and goes well with so many foods.)