When I read through the archives of the AP book I feel so low. People actually think about things. And here I am at the beginning of another yearly, yearly worsening, period of severe depression that always comes with my requited-but-rejected-anyway love anniversary no matter how little think about it. All these people that once wrote in the AP book have kids and families and things now, and I’m still at the AP book. Or website. I mean, a student who wrote a question in 1993 would be in their late thirties now.
Why is it so hard, often almost nauseating, to be unable to participate in life, and have to watch it pass anyway?
That’s a question that’s impossible for me to answer. Vonnegut believed that loneliness is the most terrible disease facing society, and I agree.
I truly empathize with the pain you continue to feel from a failed love, and can’t encourage you strongly enough to speak with a mental health professional. They should be able provide guidance and, at the very least, help you jettison misconceptions like everyone who wrote in the AP book years ago is happily married with children.
Be well, my friend.